The Man in The Moon

by Stephen Halpert

The unexpected spring warmth of the New England spring day slowed everything down. Alan Parker closed his accounting office early to avoid the sweltering humidity.

It was still warm when he arrived back at his condo. He took a pizza from his freezer and set it down. He remembered his date with Lola from the night before, reached for the phone and dialed. “Lola, it’s Alan.”

The voice on the other end sounded tentative. “Hello, yes. Alan, I think we need to talk. As a matter of fact after last night I know we do. I’d like us to clear up this misunderstanding.”

He scratched his head. What misunderstanding? Sure come on over,” he said, “I’m defrosting a pizza.”

She did not reply to that, but instead said, “I know I’m too old for you, Alan, which when you think about it is a good thing.”

He smiled. What was she getting at? “Come on over,” he repeated. You sound upset. I thought we had an incredible time last night.” Remembering, he felt excited.

Her voice was firm. “Too good a time, perhaps,” she began. “Inflict what you did to a woman and of course she’s going to be rattled.”

His voice rose. “What did I do?”

“We only just met. I wasn’t expecting that intensity. Let’s let it go at that. I don’t feel its necessary to rehash the entire evening, but the aftermath isn’t something I’d look forward to again.”

“I thought we had a good time. I don’t understand?” He tried.

She sighed. “No you wouldn’t. That’s the problem. If you did we wouldn’t be having this conversation”

He shook his head. “Would you please tell me what it was I did to upset you.”

She sighed again. “Oh, you wouldn’t understand. Most men wouldn’t.”

That pissed him off. “Don’t compare me to other men. Just say whatever it is that bothers you from last night.”

Then came a long silence. Finally, “Alan I’m not used to that kind of,” a pause, “I’m not used to heavy romance like that. You caught me by surprise. I wasn’t expecting how what we did turned out for me. Obviously, you’re fine. You had a fine time. To you it was like shooting hoop or having a good golf game.”

He couldn’t believe this conversation. “I wouldn’t know, I don’t play golf.”

She raised her voice, almost shouting. “Why are men so insensitive?”

Her voice choked up. She started crying.

He frowned. A silence stretched between them. “Well whatever it was I supposedly did, I’m sorry.”

“Never mind. It’s not important. You just caught me by surprise.”

Maybe there was hope after all. “Personally I think we had a fine time. You were terrific.”

“I was?” she sounded surprised.

“Yes, really terrific. Why not come over and share some pizza with me?” A hollow laugh echoed in his ears. He plowed on. “You can even spend the evening.”

Her voice was dry. “I don’t think so.”

“Why not,” he wheedled in a teasing voice.

A tart tone: “I don’t think our getting involved is such a hot idea.”

He frowned. “We had fun. What’s so bad about that?’

Her voice was firmer. “I wouldn’t expect you to understand.”

“What’s not to understand. We both had a blast.”

He envisioned the two of them last night, a little drunk on French wine. By now who seduced whom was more a matter of conjecture than evidence in a crime. Her relentless demanding. His wanting to throw all the logs on the fire at once. “I could drive over to your place.”

“No. I can’t. Whatever you insisted upon last night was then. Let’s just let it go at that.”

He cleared his throat. “Lola are you seeing someone else?”

She laughed that throaty laugh. “Yeah, sure. That’s it. Let’s let it go at that.

So he had competition. “Who?”

She chuckled. “If you must know, the man in the moon.”

He frowned. “You’re funny.”

She went on. “He’s wonderful. Sensitive and tender, kind and open. He respects me and doesn’t push me.”

He frowned. “And that makes me some sort of barbarian?”

“No, I didn’t say that.”

“And where did you meet your man in the moon?”

“I’d rather not go into that. Let’s just drop it. This conversation is getting us nowhere. You’re getting pissed off and I’m getting hungry for supper.”

He tried again. “I’ll pick you up and we can go do steaks, maybe filet mignon”

She sighed. “You just won’t quit will you. Don’t you know how to back off? With you it’s all a power game. That’s the way you were last night. Not stopping, not giving me a chance to breathe.”
“Lola, I just don’t get it? You know our chemistry reaches the boiling point fast. You know we give each other a lot.”

“Superficially,” she shouted. “Alan its all superficial with you. You leave me for roadkill. I need tenderness and compassion, gentleness. A friend who’s willing to listen.”

“And that’s what your man in in moon specializes in? Listening? I’m not much for holding hands, Lola but I want to see a lot more of you.”

At first she didn’t reply. Nothing was said. Finally. “Thank you for calling.”

“But I don’t measure up to your man in the moon.”

“No. I doubt anyone could. He’s very special.”
“Well it’s a full moon tonight. Have a good time,” he grumbled.

The little bell announced his pizza was ready.

“I need to eat, too. And thank you for calling. I’m sorry things didn’t work out.”

They made their awkward good byes. Alan served himself his pizza and began looking through the numbers on his phone.

Lola ate some leftovers from her fridge and went into her living room. She stood by the window overlooking Beacon Street. The full moon was high in the sky. She reached for the latch, opened the window, and extended her hand. The moonlight caressed it. She closed her eyes and smiled.